"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what we asked of him. - 1 Samuel 1:27"

So, I am going to get this blog started again. Kent and I have been married since August 22nd, 2009 and had already gone off birth control and I started trying to prepare my body for conception... It definitely was not as easy as I thought it would be. With pre-existing medical issues, I figured it was probably going to take a little time, but I didn't expect it to be over a year. We did a bunch of fertility meds and were diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility. After our Obgyn (whom we LOVE) told us that there was nothing else that could be done here and we would have to go up to Portland for injections to continue. These often cost over $2000 a month and of course, come with no guarantee. That's when it really hit us! Which drugs could possibly be more power than the workmanship of God's hands? It took a little bit, but we decided to leave the situation at his feet and tried to find peace with it all. After a lot of prayer, relaxing and a mini vacation, we were pleasantly surprised when we had ovulated....med free too!?!? Oh man! (For those of you that don't know, I work at the Hospital.) I was so excited I even pulled my Doctor aside in the cafeteria and told him that I had ovulated ALL ON MY OWN! lol! It was pretty funny.
I was never one to test early because the depression of seeing a negative or "Not Pregnant" come up was quite wearing.
On September 30th at 4:05 am, while Kent was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, I decided to just get up and test. My breasts were so tender and swollen that every time I rolled ever it would wake me up and the ONLY thing that would go through my head was, "I gotta buy diapers!" I took the test and sat it on the counter. I tried not to peek too early, but it came up so fast! "PREGNANT"

Really?!?! Seriously!?!?
I was shaking so bad!
The day we got home from our Honeymoon I had ordered this onsie that says our last name on it and is in Beaver colors. That was my plan all along for telling Kent when the time finally came. By this point it was wrapped and being stored on the highest shelf in the garage because seeing all the time was a constant reminder. So, I ran through the house, into the garage, jumped up on the trunk of the car and on the bottom shelf, grabbed the gift and ran back into the house. Kent had made his way back to the bathroom and I just handed him the box and pointed to the test. We just starred at eachother, speechless! We moved to the bed, just hugging and crying, but still quite stunned. Our Lord is AMAZING!

We had a little scare on October 11th and the doctor ordered an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. Scares aren't good, but when they end alright and you get a chance to see your baby, who complaining? This is the picture from Lil Raz's first photo shoot! I know, you feel kind of like you're looking at a bean, but that's OUR bean! :D

Our first appointment with the nurse went well, just went over a lot of history and the rules of pregnancy... no skiing for me this year! I'll gladly trade in my skiis for our precious little one!

November 11th was our first appointment with Dr. Murphy... did I mention we love him!?! He tried picking up the baby's heartbeat on the doppler, but little squirmy baby wouldn't cooperate. BUT, you know what that means! Photo shoot number 2! My Grandpa said he wouldn't know what he was looking at, so i made it possible!

I added a Santa hat to Baby Raz's head for Christmas! Here it is.

Here is a picture of the mini bump from my dose of retail therapy a few days ago.

Mr. J, aka big brother, is studying up on the pregnancy himself! I took a nap on the couch and this is what I woke up to! lol! Way too funny! I don't know how he did this...

He gives us the strength we couldn't have otherwise!

Psalm 105:4

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It's one of those days...

But at least it's sunny outside again! :)

So for starters, I have been using ovulation predictor tests in hope that if we happen to ovulate we might have a better chance. Well, we're 2 weeks behind the "normal" schedule, but things might be looking up! The test was very positive the past 2 days. Woohoo! I would be so happy if things finally just worked on their own. I just have to really remember to leave it in God's hands. Ultimately, it's all up to him.

Then, I somehow have 6 cousins (some blood and some not) who are all either pregnant, about to pop or just had their babies! CRAZY! I guess the fertility part skipped me. It's all good though. My dear little cousin, Britney, went into false labor today. (I find myself living through people sometimes and as much as I hate that, it makes me feel better. Does that make sense or am I going crazy?) Needless to say, I was very excited for little Avery to make his grand appearance, but he's decided to stay nice and cozy for a little while longer. I feel so bad for her. She's now overdue and more than ready. Although, I must admit, I wouldn't mind having the chance to be in her shoes right now. It'll happen eventually though!

For those of you who haven't met Dominik yet, he is such a sweet young man. Their culture is so much different than ours. :) He has made such a nice addition to our home and fits right in with our craziness! Domi's energy has made it much easier to be distracted from "infertility reality." 

Please pray that my body might be working on it's own this cycle, that we have some success and for Britney's strength to get through the next few days.

Thanks for listening!

We are the craziest people we know!

So, in the midst of all this trying we have been going through the foster and adoption process through DHS. It amazes me how long it takes the state to do anything. Agh! We started this process in January, finished all of our classes as soon as they would give them and turned in our paperwork/finger prints immediately. Now, 9 months later our references are just getting their reference sheets in the mail. Amazing! There are so many kiddos out there that we would love to wrap in our arms around and help. Whether it be temporarily for foster care or forever for adoption, we don't care. We understand that it will be so incredibly hard to give to give them up for foster care, but at least they will have a safe haven while they can.

As you can probably tell, we are very busy people and are always doing so much at once. Perhaps this is why it seems so hard when nothing works out the way we'd wish.

BUT, two weeks ago we were asked to take in a Foreign Exchange Student for the year. And of course we never say no to a challenge. Really, when it comes down to it, we always make enough food to feed at least one more person and it gets wasted anyway. (We're terrible with leftovers!) We can totally support a teenager as long as we budget right. ;) So, Dominik will be here Sunday night from Germany. We are very excited and it feels good to help his dream come true!

The only thing that keeps going through my head is, "What if everything comes together at the same time!?!?" God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle, but I wonder if he thinks we can handle a teenager, little foster kids and a pregnancy/newborn all at the same time. You think? Oh man! lol! Regardless, we are busy which helps keep our mind off just trying all the time. Of course it's always in the back of or minds, but at least there's a break here and there. I feel like I'm ready to take on the world!

I am going to go finish up Dominik's room and I'll post pictures later. I'm sure he'll be thrilled with the color choices! Haha! Our nephew's favorite colors are bright blue and bright green....can you imagine what this room looks like?

Verse for today.... much needed

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

It's amazing how God brings the right words at the right time. We had such a wonderful weekend away at the beach. We found the best place to eat in Florence. Just think, crab encrusted halibut with a cream chili sauce... fabulous! BUT, we're back home now and back to reality. Quite frankly, I'm not too fond of reality lately. I try to keep myself busy. Today, I spent hours outside pulling weeds, clearing out the plant boxes and fixing my water fountain. It works again! :) I have learned to always keep music on to keep my mind busy. Otherwise, I think... no good. I definitely think it's time for a second job. I believe it would be good for me, plus I could put all the funds aside for fertility treatments! Sounds like a win/win situation to me!

I decided to check my daily verse widget and the above verse was it. Starting tomorrow, I will check it in the mornings. I could've used that one all day. I really need to fully let go and leave the worrying to God alone.

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Yesterday was a rough one.

To those of you that do not know, my husband, Kent and I have been married for one year on August 22nd and have been together for 4(living together for 3.5). I have had known issues with my uterus for many years. I have tumors in my uterus and in the muscle lining of my uterus. We thought this might cause a little bit of a problem when trying to concieve, but we never imagined it would be this hard.

After we got married, I began to chart my cycles. I learned quickly that I am annovulatory, meaning I do not ovulate on my own. We consulted with our Obgyn after about 6 months. He said that I was definitely annovulatory and that I would need help ovulating. So, we started a drug called Clomiphene, better known as Clomid. (By the way, this drug has horrible side effects!) This would, in theory, help my ovaries produce eggs and thus I would ovulate. Well, typically people start at 25mg or 50mg. I tried 50mg fist and Dr.Murphy didn't seem too impressed with the results. The next cycle started at 100 mg and it literally did nothing, my follies were about half the mature size. He added 150mg the same cycle and eventually I did ovulate. After a long 62 day cycle we started the next at 200 mg. I did, eventually, ovulate and still nothing. I called the doctor's office like I always do when my cycle starts and finally yesterday, Dr.Murphy got on the phone...

He said, "I'm sorry kiddo, but I have you on the maximum dose and it doesn't seem to be working. Your ovaries are just so very resistant..." He went on to say that I needed to consult with a specialist in Portland (about 3.5 hours away) and start trying injectables, which cost about $2000 a month. There's no way we can afford that. The consultation alone, which is probably 20 minutes with the doctor, is $350. We could do that, but not much else, you know?

So, here we are, first anniversary and my husband just found out that his wife is barren. I feel so bad that I can't give him a child right now, but hopefully in the future things will work out. God always has a much bigger plan than we can imagine. We just have to fully rely on him.

We are already in the process for adoption and will focus on that for right now. That baby will be our child, period! It does not matter if the DNA is different. Having the same DNA is not the only way to make him/her our precious child. I am so exctied to see who God brings into our lives.

Please pray that we have the strength to keep pushing forward through the tough times ahead and that we not lose sight of what our Lord is doing for us. We really are very fortunate, especially in these times. And I feel extremely fortunate to have such an amazing and supportive husband and family.